2010 Countdown: What I've Learned this Year

I love learning. I think it's fun. I have a hard time with routine and becoming stagnate so I'm always striving for self-improvement and knowledge. I've learned a lot this year but then again I probably think that every year. Although, I think this year was significant in many ways. For one I had my first real, live boyfriend. I've had boyfriends before but not the kind where you meet one another's family and bestest friends, go on trips together, spend holidays together, and include them in your future plans. Whereas going in I thought he was the reward for learning so much about dating and boys I found out having a real grown-up relationship only leads to more learning and growth. The fun kind, of course. As well, I quit a dead end job and embarked on grad school round dos, which required my first internship ever (and this is after years of working in the real world). These significant changes, as well as others, have really topped my list of Years I've Learned the Most. And so without further ado here is my list of what I've learned this year to go along with my list of Years I've Learned the Most:

- It's okay to not know what you want. I'm actually still working on accepting this but at least I've learned it. We all gotta start somewhere.
- The old adage of relationships requiring a lot of work needs to be tweaked. Relationships do require effort to maintain but there's a difference between work and effort. I feel as though work denotes something negative and so if your relationship feels like work all of the time you may want to reexamine your relationship. It should feel like inspired effort. You both want to do things to make one another's life easier, as well as to bolster your relationship.
- No one knows better than you do. At least when it comes to what you want and what makes you happy. And often other things too, like how to apply moss to Rose Parade floats. It's okay to listen to others but I'm starting to learn that I don't have to give as much (or any) weight to what they have to say as I have in the past.
- Facebook is the devil. Yet I'm still on there.
- Writing is therapeutic and something I should do often. I'll try to remember that rather than take breaks from blogging when inspiration is hiding.
- Go easy on myself. I am my own harshest critic and I need to remember that I am enough as is.

And that is what I have learned most this year. What have you learned this year?

2010 Countdown: Appreciation

In honor of yet another year's end I have a lot to appreciate. I'm often challenged by getting lost in thinking about the things I wish I had and sometimes getting down about not having those things. Despite an amazing life full of amazing people, experiences, and simple joys. Yet there are moments where I'm more focused on my lack than the abundance that's right in front of me. I do this even with the realization that no matter how much I have in my life there will always be more to have and the only way to truly be happy and enjoy life is to appreciate every moment, person, and experience you do have. So in honor of the upcoming new year I'd like to list the ten things I'm most appreciative of in the year 2010:

1. My boyfriend who is truly the most amazing man I've ever known. And the most fun!
2. My friends who are also some of the most amazing people I've ever known. And the most fun! :p They certainly meet my prerequisite of not being boring.
3. My family who's been through some challenges in this past year and who've really forced me to reflect on who I am, what's important to me, and what I want out of life. I haven't appreciated them as much as I should have this year but am doing it now and making it a goal to do more so in 2011.
4. Sunshine. Southern California didn't have as much to appreciate this year but that only made me appreciate it even more.
5. Surfing. It feeds my soul.
6. Getting into grad school at UCLA and doing really well my first quarter.
7. Leaving a highly toxic work environment.
8. Road trips. I went on a couple really cool ones this year full of neat experiences and fun company.
9. Weddings. I went to a lot this year and while there were moment where it dominated my social life I never tired of seeing all the happy couples express their love for one another in fun ways.
10. And the bf again because he is the best part of my 2010!

Do you take the time to appreciate your life? Maybe you keep an appreciation journal? What are the things you appreciate most about 2010?

The Ghosts of Christmas Past

Okay, there aren't really any ghosts; I just needed a creative title. Although since it is December 27th and I'm about to write about Christmas one could argue that it's an appropriate title. This was the first Christmas I didn't go home, which led me to reflect on Christmases past, as well as the one two days ago. I grew up having Christmas with a large boisterous family filled with presents, food, cookies, games, noise, and lots of good times. Christmas 2009 was a little different since my grandmother had passed away and the family couldn't manage to come together without her. So there were just six of us, which was weird, although still nice. And this year was also small spending time with one side of the bf's family and later in the day friends but again nice. It was peaceful and well, weird. In a good way. I'm having to come to terms with the fact that Christmas may never again be like it was for me as a child. That may take a few years and the creation of new rituals but I think it can be done.

That being said here are the fun things I love about Christmas regardless of who I spend it with, where I spend it, and how I spend it:
- Cookies: Rice Krispie-like cornflake wreaths are my fav. But Buckeyes (chocolate covered peanut butter balls that actually look like buckeyes) are my fav memory cookies. And the amazing cutouts my dad's side of the family made/makes.
- Christmas lights: They appear to be on the downslide lately, probably because of the economy but the ones I've seen are still worthwhile.
- Family and friends: This probably should have been listed numero uno because it truly is my favorite part but somehow cookies and lights popped into my head first.
- Surprises: I almost wrote presents but it really isn't the presents I care all that much about. I love the surprises that surround Christmas. I could care less what was actually in the wrapping paper.
- Snow: Alas, there was no white Christmas this year so that may have strongly contributed to the weirdness.

What's your favorite part of Christmas? Or the winter holiday season if you don't celebrate Christmas?

Rain

It's been raining here in sunny southern California for like four straight days now, which in the non-sunny weather time here is like four years. Actually I rather enjoy it since any weather change is pretty exciting. Still there are some non-fun things about it. Like the SoCal drivers who are driving challenged when it's perfectly dry out. Just imagine how much fun they are to deal with when there's precipitation. And it puts a damper on my surfing what with all the chemicals being washed directly into my playground. But other than that I enjoy rain and the fun activities it brings with it. So to pay homage to what looks like at least another four days of rain my top ten favorite fun things to do (in no particular order) when it rains:

1. Puddle jumping: It is what it sounds like, although the bf couldn't quite understand the appeal of it so maybe it's just me.
2. Walking: Everything looks different and at least in the city cleaner.
3. Puzzles: Haven't done one this time around but always a good time.
4. Board games: See above.
5. Movie watching: I never take the time to do this since there's almost always something more appealing to do outside. Rain's a good excuse to lay on the couch and not get up until entirely caught up on at least one good film.
6. Cooking/baking: Again, being outside isn't as appealing so why not cook and get fatter.
7. Sit on an enclosed patio drinking tea, watching it rain, and taking photos: Done and done!
8. Listen to music: Records, MP3s, tapes, whatever you got. Dance around too if you so feel inclined.
9. Sleep: Also a good time to get caught up on some of that.
10. Read: See above.

What are some of your fav fun rainy day activities/memories?

Back at it... Again

Tried to revive this back in September but failed. 'Course failure can (and should) be looked at as a learning opportunity and I've certainly learned from it. That and many other experiences have shown me how much fear is getting in my way. Fear of what exactly I don't feel the need to address in here. Particularly because a lengthy diatribe may ensue (That sentence was included mostly because I wanted to use the phrase "lengthy diatribe may ensue."). Roseanne Cash (whomever that is) said, "The key to change... is to let go of fear." (Oh, just looked up Roseanne Cash and found out she's Johnny Cash's oldest daughter. Good to know.) As I've just hit the dirty thirty and am also about to embark on a new year I've been doing a lot of thinking. Damn juxtaposition of birthday and a new year leads to this occurrence nearly every December. This year's focus has been fear and how it's frozen me in many ways. I'm not big on setting New Year's resolutions cuz goal setting is something I do on a regular basis but this year I thought I'd make a change and fear is what I'd like to let go of. And to change that into a more positive goal I read somewhere once that there are really only two primary emotions, fear and love. All the other emotions are secondary to the two of those. So I suppose my true goal is to be more loving.

Either way when I typed "letting go of fear" into google to see if it had any better ideas than I did (they didn't) this is what I found: Sit with your fear and fully embrace it. Be mindful of it. Then act upon it. Ralph Waldo Emerson (who I do know without googling) said, "Do the thing you fear; and the death of fear is certain." And that is it. So simple. So difficult for many of us to do. But I challenge you in joining me facing your fears, increasing love, and making way for grand fun in this new year!

Lack of Motivation

There isn't much fun about lack of motivation. Unless maybe you're curled up on the couch in a daze catching up on 8 million movies and TV shows. But that's different than true lack of motivation. At times we all need an escape from reality. My lack of motivation has obviously manifested itself in the lack of posts I've written lately. I could give a number of excuses. Starting classes for grad school round dos, an internship, writing a book, the bf, the never ending supply of social engagements, surfing, getting settled into a new apartment and exploration of the 'hood. Which in and of themselves are fun(ish) things for me. The actual truth is I'm not entirely inspired to carve out a chunk of time each day to write about fun. Perhaps because I'm too busy having it. Perhaps because no one aside from myself (maybe occasionally some really good friends) reads this. Perhaps I'm just not good at it. Who knows. But it has led to some good things such as the inspiration to write a book, something I've wanted to do since the second grade, so I believe it's something I should continue to do. As the fastest way to Carnegie Hall is through practice.

So in honor of the lack of motivation we all face at times here are some fun ways to get that motivation back:

1. Engage in a wholly different creative activity. This gets the spark going again even if it's completely unrelated to the source of your lack of motivation.
2. Get moving. Exercise is great to spearhead motivation.
3. Dance naked. Now it isn't the dancing naked that will up the motivation but the inspiration of doing something out of character and silly (if you already dance naked all the time try it with some clothes on).
4. Start a motivational group. Chances are you know enough people who are lacking motivation in something themselves and would love to have an accountability factor to get them back on track. You can all even dance naked if you want!
5. Read inspirational books. Oh the Places We'll Go by Dr. Suess would be a good starter.

What kinds of things do you do to get the motivation back? I'd appreciate any and all suggestions as I'll probably try them out myself.

The Worst Case Scenario Handguide to Weddings

With the third leg of my US Tour de Weddings complete (and my excuse for my blogging absence) I thought it appropriate to discuss having fun at weddings. While I find it nearly impossible not to have fun at a wedding (They're parties folks!) I know not everyone feels the same way. So here's my Worst Case Scenario Handguide to Weddings.

For the Singles: It's easy to feel sorry for yourself. Especially if you're in your last twenties, have never been to a wedding with a man date, there aren't any other single peeps to share your woes with... oops, I regressed into the past. Fo real though chances are that you aren't the only single person there and likely they're feeling similar feelings and so at the very least you have others to commiserate (while also toasting the bride and groom's happily ever after of course), dance party and potentially make out with. All else fails couples also like to dance party! Plus it's a great excuse to wear a cute new outfit you'll never wear again (or if you're a dude that suit you paid way too much for). And most weddings are cut off at midnight so plenty of time to go out to a bar after looking extra hot with a good excuse for it.

For the Couples (Non-married): This year was the first time I ever fell into that category and I have to say I've had a damn good time being part of it. The only challenging part is fielding the "when are you getting married" questions. And while I enjoyed playing catcher in softball I'm not sure how much I enjoy it in this situation. I still haven't come up with any witty comebacks like I had during my single years... But that's because the bf and I have ONLY been together for 8ish months, which while monumental in my book based on the brevity of past relationships is nothing in the grand scheme of long term relationships. I'm still just super stoked to have a boyfriend (and a super great one at that... brownie points if he ever reads this)! So so far that's been my response to that question. But part of me is tempted to be a little more snarky about things and just tell the folks that we're atheist (even if it isn't true) and the devil would prefer that we live in sin.

For the Wedding Party: Most peeps are excited to be in a wedding because 99% of the time it's for a bestest friend or family member whom you're extremely happy for and wish to fully support in her/his commitments. Even better if you're close with both members of the couple. But... and if you've ever been in a wedding you can probably guess the buts.
- It can be expensive. Suck it up. Take out a loan. It'll all come back to you when it's your turn. Just kidding about the loan. But if it is a financial stretch be honest with the couple and see what can be worked out. No one wants their friends to declare bankruptcy just to be a part of their wedding. At least no one worth being friends with.
- Ugly Bridesmaid Dresses. Most are. Get used to the idea now. Hold an ugly bridesmaid dress barcrawl after. Prior to acceptance, though approach the bride (maybe with the other bridesmaids as well) about her flexibility in dresses and hopefully you'll all break the ugly bridesmaid dress curse.
- A million pre-wedding engagements. An engagement party (or parties), shower (or showers), bachelor/bachelorette party (which is my fav), rehearsal dinner. By the time you're done with it all you don't even feel like celebrating your birthday this year. Luckily I've been blessed with extremely low maintenance friends who've either never had most of these or if they were chained to a chair and forced to by friends and relatives didn't require me to be a part of them. And when it isn't a requirement it's much more fun. However, if it is a requirement weigh the value of your friendship against the cost of time and money. Hopefully the friend will win or maybe you should rethink being in the wedding.

For Those Who Hate to Dance: Suck it up! No one likes someone who won't have a dance party. Hah! For those who really would rather have the slimy creatures crawl all over you than bust a move you're usually not alone so chum up with the other non-dancers and enjoy some wine.

This is a short survival guide but again I remind you weddings are supposed to be fun and thus, you should already be having fun. How do you feel about weddings? What do you like or not like about them?